There are no secrets…. I could snoop if I wanted. I trust him… and that's the best thing! I trust him with my life and wouldn't have married him if I thought he wasn't an honorable man. Besides, he knows if he ever cheats on me I would kill him and dump his body under a bridge. Now, I trust him enough to know he'd never cheat and I've learned to afford him the amount of respect I expect him to extend to me. So why do we snoop on our spouses? According to Tina B. It is possible the suspicion comes from a previous life experience, such as a relationship where the partner cheated, or a family where one parent had a drug problem.
But, usually the suspicion arises because there's indication that all is not OK. Money is disappearing, or the partner is tied to the computer for hours and neglecting other aspects of life, or there's something furtive and secretive going on. Partners who have been cheated on before, either in this relationship or another one, or who have experienced living with an addict or alcoholic will also be very suspicious.
Sometimes people snoop because private things are left lying around and are too tempting, or because the privacy level of each partner is vastly different adults who were only children are usually much more private than those raised with a lot of siblings. Essentially, we snoop to find out if we're OK. That is, by finding out the hidden secrets of others, we can feel better about the less than wonderful parts of ourselves.
Of course, snooping is a two-edged sword, because we may find out what we don't want to know. Tessina believes snooping in your marriage is not the best way to deal with your spouse and offers these 5 reasons you should STOP snooping on your Spouse.
It undermines communication. If you are suspicious, figure out if you have a concrete reason to be suspicious, and then present your partner with what you know, and ask calmly for an explanation. If you don't believe the explanation, you need to talk about that. It undermines trust. If your partner catches you snooping, you'll have a difficult time explaining why you don't trust him, and rebuilding his trust of you.
What will you do if you find something? Are you prepared to find that your worst fears are true? Can you stay calm enough to assess the information rationally, and not draw the most awful conclusion from scant facts?
Make sure you're prepared for whatever you find. If you're pretty sure there's a real problem, having a plan of action, like couples therapy, is better than snooping. Your intense emotions even surprise you because you can't believe it was you who put you in this vulnerable position.
According to the UK study published in Daily Mail, 59 percent of women would tell their partners about the recently discovered transgression while only 37 percent of men would do the same. And so begins the Catch of snooping. Can you really get mad about something you were never supposed to find out about in the first place? Is that even a solid defense or does that just make you look even guiltier? Why snoop if you know you're just going to be left devastated? Sure, you could say a good person wouldn't have anything to hide, but have you ever had a texting conversation that didn't get misunderstood one way or another?
Now throw in a third party to the mix and think about that. You thought this was an innocent slogan used for an addicting snack, but when you apply it to your romantic life, well, it takes on entirely new meaning.
Think about it: Are you able to control how much you stalk someone once you've started? The moment you break through that barrier and realize how easy and accessible it is, why would you even stop? Wasn't that your intention all along? To figure out the most low-key way to gather the most information you can get your hands on without the other person knowing? By Ashley Fern.
A common Snapchat reaction: " But she's his best friend on Snapchat So let's take a closer look at snooping, the type of people prone to it and its effects. Who's more likely to snoop? Why do people snoop on one another? How do people snoop on their loved ones? Who else do we snoop on? Follow Allie Volpe on Twitter. Sign In Create Account. March 6, , pm. Asking for a Friend. Instead of snooping, go directly to the source. Trust your gut—but not necessarily in the way you might think.
Think of the consequences—and the parties affected.
0コメント