I realized I was asexual around the same time my peers seemed to realize that they were not. Once the hormones kicked in, so did a nearly universal interest in sex for those around me.
I thought sex was intriguing, but never so much that I wanted to express my sexuality with someone else. I had no sexual desire towards other people, I did not experience sexual attraction, and that hasn't changed. I didn't learn that there was a word for my sexuality until I was 15, after being interrogated for the millionth time at school about my orientation, or lack of it.
After doing some Googling as soon as I got home, I realized for the first time in my life that I might not be broken, that I wasn't alone in my experience, and that it wasn't a defect I had somehow brought on myself. I had spent the entirety of my adolescent life trying to answer people's invasive questions without having the language to explain that I was just an asexual girl.
But even after I found the language, I had only solved half of the problem. We are taught in grade school that we'll become sexually interested in others, but never that not being sexually attracted to anyone is an option.
Because we're not taught about it, no one else knew what I was talking about when I tried to come out to them as asexual. Many don't believe asexuality is real, and that makes the experience of navigating our heteronormative, hyper-sexualized society as an asexual person even harder.
I've spent my life battling misconceptions about it and so have many other asexual people. Now, I try to use my work as a model and activist to raise awareness and change the way our society perceives asexuality and asexual people. This Asexual Awareness Week, I'm busting some of those myths about my orientation. Truth: Asexuality is considered a sexuality, just like bisexuality, heterosexuality, and homosexuality. Common causes of low libido include mental health distress such as anxiety, stress, and depression , certain medications and supplements, underlying illness, steroid use, and hormonal changes and imbalances.
For example, women in menopause often notice a decrease in their sexual desire due to a strong hormonal shift. In some cases, a low sex drive might also be the result of trauma, including sexual abuse, physical abuse, rape, attempted rape, sex shaming, and other negative sexual experiences. This is something to speak about with a therapist or other mental health care professional, who can help you heal from past traumas.
We want to be clear here: you do not owe an explanation of your sexual orientation to anyone. That said, there are times when you might feel compelled to talk to someone about your sexuality. For example, you may feel you want to discuss your sexual orientation in a romantic partnership, with your closest friends, or to family members.
In addition, there are plenty of online resources available where asexual-identifying individuals can find others who may be having similar experiences. It is worth a Google search to find such organizations as well as searching for networks in your area that may be able to connect you with other asexual-identifying people. Remember, you are not alone in your experiences and your feelings. Asexuality is a spectrum, and no two people on that spectrum are exactly the same in their sexual desire or attraction toward others or even with themselves.
Having a better understanding your own sexual orientation, and even putting a soft label on it, can perhaps put you on a path of better understanding yourself. This might lead to increased self-esteem and generally more clarity in who you are and how you navigate life and relationships.
In some cases, a lack of sexual desire is the result of low libido or past traumas, and it is worth exploring those paths if you think either might be affecting your sexual desire and attraction. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. A is for Asexual, Agender, Aromantic. Published February 11, The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Mater Sociomed. Yehuda R, Lehrner A m. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.
They may or may not feel romantic attraction, and they may or may not engage in sexual activity. There is a wide range of identities on the asexual spectrum, from people who experience no sexual or romantic attraction to people who engage in sexual contact under some conditions.
Many asexual people form meaningful, lasting relationships, and some get married or have children. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy or abstinence, both of which mean someone experiences sexual attraction but chooses not to act on it. How can a person identify if they are transgender? Read more to learn about gender identity and points for a person to consider if they may identify…. Transgender is a term to refer to those who have a different gender identity than the one assigned to them at birth.
Learn more here. Learning about sexual health is important. Learn more about sexual health topics related to transgender women here. It is important to know about sexual health. Learn more about sexual health for transgender men here. What does it mean to be asexual? What is asexuality? Spectrums How do you know? Celibacy and abstinence Summary Not everyone agrees on the definition of asexuality.
Share on Pinterest The experience of being asexual varies among people. Different spectrums. How do you know if you are asexual? Asexuality, celibacy, and abstinence. Latest news Could 'cupping' technique boost vaccine delivery? Scientists identify new cause of vascular injury in type 2 diabetes.
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